An Adult Story

dating women is an art. It's an art that I have not yet mastered. It's always the same. On the first date, I end up caressing her breasts when shes drunk. When she wakes up the next morning she decides I went too fast, and never sees me again. So I try again with another woman, and on the next first date the same thing happens. But what am I to do? It's not as simple as 'stop caressing their breasts then', because they're begging me to do it at the time, and if I said no, then they would surely go and find someone that would! I've had many a brief encounter with a woman like this. I see them for one night only. I'm sick of always being on a first date! Why can't I be on my 7th date, or my 12th, or why can't I settle down with someone long term! I always seem stuck with brief encounter after brief encounter. I'm not even a boob man. Its not as if I have a mad obsession with caressing women's breasts! I like it, sure - like any guy would. But I'm more of a leg man myself. It's all thebloody women's fault. They wear these stupidly low cut tops, and then get drunk. They stagger, I reach out to catch them and happen to brush against a breast. Their eyes lightup, they grab my hands, thrust them against their breasts and beg me not to stop. I mean - what else am I supposed to do?! What would any guy do?! I can't just say no and watch her find someone else that will. It's driving me mad. Everyone else seems to have luck in this department. Maybe I should find a girl that wont get drunk. Even that's no good though. If they don't want to get drunk on the first date, then they don't want to get drunk ever. If they don't want to get drunk ever then I don't want them, because I like to get drunk same as any other bloke! I'm not having some bird nagging me not to drink. No. It's hopeless. I have no idea what to do. Maybe I'll get the lads round to watch some footie. Yeah, that's a good idea. Sorted.